#they shouldnt have had fucking kids if they were gonna treat them like this

[routersims]

president mind situation my take AND WHY I WAS WRONGLY BANNED!!!! (and why you shouldnt hate me!) TW/CW: mentions of shipping (sorta) and nsfw (chonny jash

this gonna be a long wall of text just sayin.. but pleeaaase read im tired of people slandering my name when im not bad.

im way better than the people who got me banned i was literally a scapegoat bro.. cordial and corey and all them mfs are so weird but thats a whole different thing

OK!! FIRST: Addressing the things i was banned for.

i was banned for hms sex jokes and erp yea true there is literally proof of the sex jokes but they're nothing but jokes even ppl who are told of the incident laugh at the screenshots because its so obvious that i WAS KIDDING. and being banned for erp? with no proof? really? yeah whatever literally none of what i did wrong was in the rules. especially for out of server stuff YEAH. IT WAS OUTSIDE THE FUCKING SERVER… IT WAS ALL IN A PRIVATE GROUP CHAT AND SOMETIMES (RARELY) DMS. everyone in the group chat was completely and 100% fine with EVERYTHING happening! everyone had said so. (let me clarify: there was no out of server rules when we were banned, they added them so they can fucking control their server members over shit like this like bffr.) stuff in the rp wasnt supposed to make anyone uncomfortable or be serious in anyway when it came to sexual stuff, the rp itself actually existed outside of the groupchat with extensive lore but it wasn't really sexual at all. the rp was kept private SO PEOPLE WOULDNT BE UNCOMFORTABLE.. even so, it being private wasnt enough apparently because some little rats had to jump into a place they didnt belong and build a whole ass story off the shit I did wrong?? when i literally did NOTHING against the rules. sure you can be like "oohh you were sexualizing chonny jash" sure! hms were there but we never mentioned chonny himself. we treated all three of them like our own ocs and completely unaffiliated with him, we thought it was fucking weird to sexualize chonny in anyway. (soul wasnt sexualized and anyone else in the rp were just OCs).

i never meant to make anyone uncomfortable, I never meant to make chonny uncomfortable i never meant to do ANYTHING wrong. I didnt think i was doing anything wrong. I didnt do anything wrong by the rules. IT WAS ALL PRIVATE. it was all JOKES. other people (CORDIAL) literally make hms nsfw jokes (AND JUST NSFW) about HMS in PUBLIC and get less backlash than i did? like are you serious? what is this favoritism? what did i even do wrong against the rules or in general if we just fucking allow this stuff?

you all act like im a piece of shit and problematic for what I did. but, I wasnt sexualizing chonny jash. I wasnt making anyone uncomfortable. I wasnt being weird in public. I was just a stupid kid bro, I know what I did was wrong. I'm sorry if you want to hear. i havent erped or done anything sexual since that whole thing.. ESPECIALLY NOT WITH CHONNY JASH!!! i dont even rp HMS in general AT ALL and avoid it outside of my roblox group + youtube channel.

Seriously guys It's been a fucking year I'm tired of you dragging my name when you dont know the whole story. you only know the things said by sal and the people who got me banned and they're ALL FUCKING WEIRDER THAN ME.

they fucking ran into something that wasnt their business, they stole screenshots from a groupchat they werent even in and fucking plotted getting us banned for like a week or two? like how odd are you? cordial's weird. cordial did / does the same shit i did that got me banned BUT WORSE. cordial does even more weird shit I can't disclose because the person who came out to me asked me not to. i quite literally was a scapegoat for this fucking weirdos and im so tired of having my name dragged because of them.

now, Sal?? sals a fucking weirdo too. like how are you the owner of a fucking huge fan server and when your server member gets wrongfully banned you continuously TALK SHIT IN PUBLIC CHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION? what kind of a fucking owner are you? you really sat there telling EVERYONE about the situation, dragging my name, and for what. because you were bored? you're a fucking adult and im a minor. need i bring up the weird shit you say in general chat too? i remember seeing you saying weird shit about a server member wearing a collar. fucking creep. now lets talk about the other admins!

who are you—fucking adults when the whole situation was with minros—to ban us out of fucking no where when it wasnt against the rules and private. then fucking drag our names with it. YOU ARE ADULTS. WE ARE KIDS. WE WERE DUMB KIDS. mind your fucking business instead of making it a whole big deal and making everyone hate us for over a fucking year.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO STRESS THIS? WE. WERE. DUMB. KIDS. I'M SORRY! I AM. If i made you uncomfortable, tell me! i will personally respond and give you a fucking apology and im 100% serious bro just stop treating me like im a fucking monster.

all I ever wanted to fucking do was make you people laugh and have fun with you then you fucking get me banned and drag my name and call me problematic when the shit i did WASNT EVEN BAD.

i dont care, if you forgive me i'll forgive you and we can forget everything but you have to fucking see my side of the story. you have to look me in the eyes and understand where im coming from; if you're even willing. i dont hate any of you, I still love the community (maybe not chonny jash as much just because I still feel guilty..) and I just wish I could come back and be accepted for the funny gal I once was known as.

I didnt know I was doing anything wrong, not until I was fucking banned out of the blue without being asked my side of the story. until I got that banned message with no context, without a fucking explanation without ANY reasoning or reaching out to me. suddenly everyone I loved in the server where I met all of my friends hated me and thought I was problematic?? i was so fucking sad and confused and nobody gave a SHIT about me.

ur server died and sucks since u banned me btw should've minded your FUCKING BUSINESS. but thats besides the point,

you mods suck. the people who got me banned, suck. the people who slander my name when you dont understand, SUCK!!! and im sorry. im sorry for everything, im sorry for making you uncomfortable and upset, even if I was wronged. I dont know how many times I have to say it or beg to be understood or how many CJ fans I have to re-meet and tell me im really cool and didnt deserve what happened until you actually fucking understand and let me back in, because Im not a piece of shit! im probably the nicest person you'll ever meet, if you even fucking bother to meet me.

i forgive you, please just forgive me and recognize the fact that i aint a monster or problematic.. im just a stupid kid who didnt mean to do any wrong and ive grown since then.

I'll clear up one more thing, because as you know I'm dating mortis (THE MORTIS) and shes a lot more problematic than me:

mortis does her own things and when we started dating she didnt act like this and I know there's kindness in her thats why I dont leave her for her actions. I dont support all the stuff she does, not at all. I'm afraid to talk to her about it (hi mortis you're definitely reading this!) I love her, even though she does the stuff she does.

I'm pro-Palestine, and I love and support everyone regardless if I know you or not. in order to function, we have to all see eachother eye-to-eye. I don't think any of you are insane, or "mentally ill freaks", I love everyone. except you cordial fuck you but I do love everyone else. even if I have a differing opinion, or think a certain way about you or your behavior, I'm not gonna hate on you or go out of my way to bully you like she does and I apologize on her behalf for the things she has said.

separate me from her actions please, I love her and I could never bring myself to leave her unless she actually does physically hurt someone or do something else insanely bad (p.s. shes also pro-palestine she just um is weird about it. clearing that up)

I like chonny jash still (mostly CCCC), I like the community still, I love my girlfriend, I love everyone and I just want to make everyone happy and smile so please stop dragging my fucking name. I. AM. SORRYYY!!! I have so many people that can vouch for me in the community and outside of it, please for once just listen to me and them.

sorry for bad grammar/formatting and repeating myself I'm really trying to get my point across here and just thinking as I type.. (no this is not president mind returning, he wont ever be this is just routersims here and im trying to get people to like me again, maybe!!! maybe even unban me!!!!!!!! im fucking innocent!!!!!)

yea thats about it guys

as for anything with mortis, we have since broken up and i dont want to go back and edit that right now so yeah, its a whole separate thing and i dont wanna talk about it

ok bye

ps. adding chonny jash tag cuz my friends are telling me to, im not trying to get chonny to see it.. just adding this little note!

[frenchkanna1808]

WHAT YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS SAYS ABOUT YOU: YTTD EDITION

PART 1) THE PARTICIPANTS

SARA CHIDOUIN:

You can’t stop praising her about how amazing of a protagonist she is compared to other protags in similar games such as danganronpa. You would and WILL fight anyone that says anything bad about your homegirl an you DEFINITELY need therapy

JOE TAZUNA:

You have the terrible habit of falling immediately in love with the best friend archetype that we met in the beginning who’s clearly gonna die. When they die you keep telling yourself you won’t be fooled again and then you do. Anyway you are in denial

KEIJI SHINOGI:

You keep justifying you love for him by using the “he’s a complex character, he’s deep and shit” but that’s just an excuse to not say “i want him to carnally fuck me and treat my little bitch with his huge arms and tits”. Whatever sexuality you were before, his deep look probably turned you gay. Anyhow you are horny as fuck and you definitely need therapy, you little whor-

REKO YABUSAME:

Either you are the the most gay motherfucker on the planet or you’re veeeeeeeeeeery straight.  you’re favorite ship is naoreko. NEVERTHELESS you want her to step on you. 

Q-TARO BURGERBERG: 

there is exactly two type of q-taro fans, The meme lord or the 20 page Reddit post defending his character from any criticism. We allllll know which ever type of fan you are, you cried like a baby in his final moments.

 KAZUMI MISHIMA:

You definitely made every possible outcome in ytts, an replayed it multiple times. You probably follow  “ mishima-in-places-he-shouldnt-be” and is still sad that this gentle loving dude had to die first why it is. always. the. cool. dudes. who. dies. first., WHY, WHY NANKIDAI ?

KANNA KIZUCHI: 

You are awesome, smart, and just the perfect person to be around, you’re aura smells pure awesomeness, no, NO i am not biased.at.all it’s not like  she’s my profile picture. 

In all seriousness, you probably crave any green bling content and also loves shin too but kanna passion and pure kindness made you make the choice to kill shin. It seemed to difficult to vote for a kid so you voted shin. You relate to kanna struggles And ADORES her character development in 3b. Also you definitely need many therapy session (not projecting at all) .

NAO EGOKORO: 

If being a joe fan is sadness, a greenbling fan depression, well being a nao fan is literal despair and anger with anguish. Bro what the fuck did she do to have such an horrible end like that, her entire experience in the death game was  a pure nightmare. Homegirl did nothing wrong, she shouldn’t literally even be here dude😭😭. You have only one consolation is that now she’s in heaven with her girlfriend, also obviously you ship naoreko

GIN IBUSHI:

You are right in fact you are 99.99 percent of the fandom. And i know that if one day you see anyone put gin below S tier or say anything relatively negative about him, you WILL find them, you WILL track them , and you’re gonna BOIL THEM ALIVE. And i will probably cheer you so go on, pop off, girlboss or mansplain bestie !  

KAI SATOU:

You are mesmerized by his beautiful aura and luscious long mane. Every time the characters talk about him you feel so much happiness that his sacrifice was in the end really worth it, but still you cry that the cutest malewife had to go first.

ALICE YABUSAME:

His atrocious hair made you burn your eyes, his cringe fail personality made you laugh but his death destroyed you entirely. In the end you fell for this transmasc king. If you played logic rote you probably died a second time lol.

S H I N  T S U K I M I:

Shin tsukimi, oh, Shin Tsukimi the character of all time. So from what i understand he’s your favorite character. Were you the weird kid in your class when you were in high school or that one queer kid that tried to hide your identity but everyone knew just by a single look? Just by looking at you i can see a lot of self loathing and unaddressed personal issues that you try hiding under a rug instead of actually addressing them. Do you take time to eat, to drink, don’t forget to take a break from negativity when you are at your lowest, okay ? Diagnosing you is pretty hard you probably have a thousand problems but at least, i hope, not as much as this little dumbass.                                           There is two type of shin fans:

-the one who want to punch him, shove him into a locker and bully him 

-the one who want to give him a warm hug, a nice soup and a good night of sleep.                                                                                                                    In both cases, you are exactly like him and projecting so hard onto him. Also you are supeeeeeer gay like extra gay. Like your aura smells GAY you know. No cis het allo kinnie of shins exist actually, it’s as possible as dividing 0 by 0.  

So conclusion go to therapy

KUGIE KIZUCHI:

Ao3 is your god, your lord and everything that you need to live. Every time ao3 get down you die inside. You crave any content of her and wish that we can know more in the future about her (i do too) and you probably feel in love with her trough fanfic.

MEGUMI SASAHARA:

You guys exists? Well you like evil boss woman, i guess.

This shit full of errors and mistakes also this is a joke don’t get offended, remember as a greenbling fan i am probably the least respected type of yttd fan, well above the keiji simps you guys are wild. 

[athenadcvell]

Let’s make this a strict parent’s thread

Ok, everyone with strict parents. I’m boutta top y’all. And let’s all suffer together, so reblog with your own wild rules you have to follow

Fellin bored, so I’m boutta flex and just go ahead and hand my parents the most controlling and manipulative strictest parents of all time award

I have never been allowed to go to anyone’s house unless they were family

That literally means that growing up, if I was even invited to a birthday party, my parents would not let me go

Not one of my friends have ever been allowed to come over

Up until Sophomore year, I had never hung out after school with my friends

I maybe ever went to one birthday party, for, like, an hour

My dad gave me his old tablet when I was 12. He put restrictions so I could not access any web browser, the app store, or download games intended for children 12 and up

I was twelve 

We have an alarm on our door. Not a system generated alarm that notifies police if there is an intruder. Nope. An alarm. You open the door or window? Alarm

I’m not allowed to open my windows and have my door locked. And no, I have not been caught smoking before, or sneaking out. My room is on the third level

I am not allowed to have my phone or laptop in my room, ever

I am not allowed to wear leggings

I am not allowed to wear shorts

I am not allowed to wear tank tops

I can’t wear ripped jeans or crop tops

I can not wear short dresses or skirts without wearing leggings underneath them (which is why I stopped wearing them all together)

I can’t leave the house wearing a shirt that shows my shoulders

I have never been allowed to date, or even hang out with guys

My mom says she’s fine with my hanging out with boys, but one time, one of my guy friends dropped me off home after school (there were two other girls visible in the car) and my mom thought he looked like a ‘drug dealer’. I ended up getting grounded for a week

I was not allowed to wear makeup until I was 14

I literally do not have a curfew. Meaning, that I can be out of the house for maybe two or three hours before my mom drags my ass back in. God forbid I ask to stay out past 7

I can’t hang out two weeks in a row. I asked my mom once if I could hang out with my friends on Friday, and she said I was abusing her generosity because she had let me hang out with friends the Friday before

I literally can not even sit on our front porch because apparently I look like a ‘prostitute’

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN???

My mom makes me roll up my pads/tampons in toilet paper before throwing them in the trash bc the ‘men of the house’ don’t need to see that

the only one who cares is my misogynistic fuck of a father. I’ve asked my brother. He couldn’t give a shit

I can’t even say the word period out loud without getting yelled at

My phone and laptop both have internet restrictions on them, cause apparently, a fucking high schooler can’t be trusted on google

I literally have like 5 different VPN’s and Proxy’s downloaded on my computer

At 9, my WiFi cuts off. I’m the only one in the house who has to go through that

If I want an adrenaline rush, I go and ask my mom if I can hang out/ buy something. Get’s the heart beating real quick

Also works if I wanna be reminded of all the reasons why I’m such a failure and let down

I can’t spread my legs open wide while sitting down without my dad getting angry and yelling at me

On more than one occasion, my father has forced me to sit in the trunk of our car bc I did something to piss him off. The drive can range anywhere from 15 min to 3 hours. The first time he did this I was 9

Tbh this has started to become more of ‘reasons why my parents are such shitty people’ rather than ‘reasons why my parents are super strict’

There’s more, but Imma stop now. 

If you got strict parents, add yours! Even if your parents are stricter, or not as strict as mine, it actually rlly helps to know that you’re not the only one in a wildly unfair and controlling household

P.S: Yes. I have broken almost every single one of these rules more than once. And yes. I have gotten in trouble. Trust me, I got the scars to prove it.

[chappybird]

my take on it, is that fictionally age is just a number. it's important in real life because it's a mostly direct analogy to their maturity level, (idk if thats worded right but you know what i mean. its important that shouldnt be a discussion) but IN FICTION ONLY age is just the author going "ummmm ok i have to pick a birthday, whatever ill do this"

its what they FEEL like that matters, which is why "2000 year old loli" is a thing thats frowned upon - even antis agree! fictional age doesnt matter its what they act like! so if youre uncomfortable with someone looking like a toddler but being technically canonically over 18, you should be fine with a 14 year old anime girl who acts like an adult and is drawn like an adult and saves the universe and flies jet planes and does nothing a real 14 year old would do (which, tbh, its strange of the canon to make them 14 in the first place there but it happened and we cant change canon since apparently even aging characters up is also frowned upon?? lmao)

which side note the "aging characters up is weird, why are you looking at a kid and thinking they'd be hot later" argument falls apart in situations like this where they're ALREADY drawn and treated like a regular adult in canon.

tldr if you watch a media, and have to go out of your way to look up the wiki in order to find out that they're actually underaged? youre fine that should not even be a little weird to anybody

There's a lot going on in this ask, but Im gonna go with what I assume is the reference to Evangelion. Evangelion answers the question of: "Okay so what if we did let teenagers fight in war machines" back in the era of Gundam, GoLion, etc. The answer is it would really fuck them up. Child Soldiers are incredibly unethical, and Shinji Ikari is an examination of what it would be like for a vulnerable young teenager to actually have that sort of responsiblity levied on his shoulders, and what kind of monsters the adults around him are for making children fight their wars.

It's about a lot of other things too, but that was what the series was designed to subvert! Gundam itself is also a subversion of this, though its not as heavy handed. I think its good that these two series exist and they're great examinations of the giant mech genre of anime, and even of shounens in general as they existed back in the 80s and 90s, and even today. A big part of the Eva is that Shinji IS a kid, and he IS being taken advantage of. If he's suddenly 18, a lot of the weight behind the series is gone, along with Shinji being so dependant on the adults around him. Every aspect of his life is controlled by adults that want to use him.

Seguing from that, thats another reason why adult/minor relationships are inappropriate. A child's entire life is controlled by the adults around them, so even if there was some kind of weird genius kid whose brain developed at the age of 15 to be that of a fully formed adult, and they looked and acted like an adult, they would still be social constructs that make them vulnerable. You can, as an adult, make a child's life absolute hell with very little effort. Without going into detail because Im sure my haters would fucking LOVE this, I've worked in situations where I'm responsible for kids, and the amount of training and education you need, that is specifically surrounding make sure other adults dont harm them, is absolutely nuts, and we're still not able to protect all of them. The world is not a safe place for kids, and especially with the existence of the internet, it makes it that much harder. (Ive had kids I work with across multiple jobs try to look me up on social media. I had to lock down my instagram and make it private because a bunch of them were finding us somehow, even those of us that didn't use our real names. They are willy nilly making themselves extremely vulnerable and it scares me to think of someone that would take advantage of that.)

So, to reiterate, the two things that make minors vulnerable and unnacceptable to pursue as an adult:

Their emotional and mental capacity, which is not fully formed yet. This is a biological factor that doesn't change with society.

The social construct of how we, adults, control the lives of children. IE Why 18 is the magic number. Because in truth, that's when we actually give a person basic human rights. As a society, we actually deny children a lot of human right and dignity, so on top of brain development, this makes children especially vulnerable.

What doesn't actually factor into why it's unacceptable to pursue minors:

Their appearance.

Therefore, why there is no moral aspect of RPing or depicting characters that are underage in media:

Because the mental capacity of the people consuming the writing/art is that of an adult, as is there age. There is no person involved here with the mental capacity of a child, or who can legally be taken advantage of... because fictional characters aren't children.

And like, yeah I will agree with people that its fuckin weird to be into the physical appearance of characters that look especially young, but its still not hurting anyone... just kinda icky to a lot of people and can cause discomfort, because we don't like seeing something that resembles something vunerable getting hurt... but the keyword is resembles.

I also think you hit the nail on the head with saying that most anime/cartoon/comic/book characters are indistinguishable from adults, and if you've got to hem and haw and look up an age on a wiki in order to be outraged, maybe pick a different battle. Ultimately my attitude is still live and let live.

[glassamphibians]

Rachel Will & Nico ultimate trio headcannon time!!

this is very long but these three take up 98% of the space in my brain and i l love them very much

• rachel and nico were basically destined to be friends with the whole oracle thing, but neither of them new that when they first met.

• while they were in the labyrinth, rachel got the weirdest sense of deja vu when she looked at him but nico clearly had other problems to deal with so she stayed quiet about it. nico felt something similar but it wasn’t as strong.

• they never really talked but they both kept running into one another? rachel would be skechting absentmindedly and realize she was drawing him and a girl she didn’t recognize. nico would accidentally shadow travel to her mansion before he knew it was hers. it was weird as fuck

• then last olympian happened and they figured out why they felt connected and it was,, extremely akward. they both wanted to be actual friends but werent sure if the other wanted that so they kept their distance.

• meanwhile, Will just became the head counselor of cabin seven!! half of his siblings died!!! he’s also in charge of the infirmary!! he’s having a great time!!! everything is fine!!!

• on top of all of his fun new responsibilities!! chiron has also put him in charge of getting apollo’s new oracle situated!!! lovely!!! what a considerate man chiron is!!!! everything is fine!!!

• he doesn’t want to do it, but he puts on his “i am a relaxed person who has my life together” facade and goes to meet the new oracle

• rachel is immediately like “hey this is boring do you wanna just hang out” “but chiron said—“ “dude you look exhausted seriously, i can figure out sleeing arrangements later” normally will would argue more but he hasn’t had a break in ages, so he caves.

• they hang out!! he just gives her a chill tour of camp and for the first time in a long time, will has a conversation thats not about a war. he feels like an actual teenager again. its really nice.

• will tries to get her to move into the cabin 7 bc she’s basically an apollo kid but she Insists on moving into a cave they had passed earlier instead, which deeply concerns him bc ??? a cave??? all summer??

• rachel still eats meals at the apollo kids’ table and is treated like part of their cabin when it comes to camp activities. they’re basically her adopted family but thats for another post

• rachel and will become good friends really quickly and if will’s not in the infirmary its not uncommon to find him hanging out with her in the arts & crafts building

• will is also one of the only kids at camp that keeps their phone in case kids in the infirmary want to talk to their parents, so when rachel is at school they call each other all the time.

• their phone calls are pretty much the only time they’re able to let their walls down and relax and they just 💗💘💖💕 they love each other so much

• when will and nico start getting Closer, rachel is subjected to listening to will’s pining over the phone and she teases him about it to no end

• then when they actually start dating will is like!!! im gonna introduce nico to rachel!! two of my favorite people in the same room this is gonna be so cool!!!

• it was a mistake

• will is now the third wheel in his own relationship

• rachel and nico have insanely long conversations about art and Will typically just ends up listening and asking questions bc he doesn’t know nearly as much as they do

• that being said when they found out nico didn’t know who bob ross was even Will was more upset than Rachel

• they’re also extremely bad influences but in a good way bc Will needs to learn how to live a little

• when all three of them get together it typically results in nico coming up with a Bad Idea, rachel immediately agreeing to do the Bad Idea, and will saying “hey this is a Bad Idea maybe we shouldnt do this” and then doing it anyway

• the most notable example of this is their highly illegal sleepover at the MoMA!! heres how that conversation went:

🎨: you’ve never been to the MoMA?? we have to go sometime i haven’t been in ages

💀: we could go now if you want

🎨: really? hell yeah i’ll bring snacks

☀️: ... its midnight

💀: exactly, there won’t be any crowds

☀️: please tell me you’re joking

🎨: you know we aren’t

☀️: you genuinely want to break into a museum full of priceless art to just . walk around. we cant just wait for it to open?

💀: its not “breaking in” if we dont actually break anything to get in, i’ll just shadow travel

🎨: don’t you think it would be prettier at night?? it’ll be fun i promise

☀️: .... fine. but if i get arrested i’m never talking to either of you again

• they didn’t get arrested!! they had a very nice time and they left money on the counter of the gift shop for the mementos they took :))

• they’re all really protective of each other. they’ll make fun of each other no problem but the second someone else is mean to one of them the other two are like 🔪🔪🔪

• rachel and nico designed will’s tattoo together!! they’re main goal is always to Help Will Be A Rebellious Teen For Once so as soon as he vaguely mentioned he wanted one, they were searching for tattoo parlors that work on 16 year olds

• rachel likes asking nico for his opinion of her paintings bc he’ll give genuine criticisms instead of just complimenting her

• will is the only member of this trio who can do math and because of this he is frequently referred to as the brains of the group even tho they’re all really smart in different ways

• one time Will got a call from his mom but he didn’t pick up bc he was talking with rachel and nico. his mom called again, so he took it, and before he could put the phone up to his ear— “WILLIAM ANDREW SOLACE I KNOW YOU DID NOT DECLINE MY CALL AFTER WEEKS WITHOUT CALLING ME—“ in the thickest southern accent either of them had ever heard

• rachel and nico died laughing. they’d never heard his full name or his mother speak before that. will was apologizing to his mom and flipping them off at the same time. this moment will haunt him forever.

• after the battle in ton Nico insists on teaching them to sword fight bc Will keeps charging into war zones unarmed and Rachel keeps throwing hairbrushes at kind-of-gods and that is just,,, not okay

• nico never sticks to one art medium. he’s always trying something new and jumping between projects and rachel is happy to try things out with him!! when hazel is visiting they always drag her into it too.

• i also think rachel might suggest the idea of art therapy to nico?? i just want him to have a healthy way to let out his feelings instead of murdering people <3

• will and rachel bond over want keeping their parents’ success and fame a secret from the rest of camp. its a bit different bc will actually likes his mom, but they both know how awkard it can be when people find out ur parents are a Big Deal

• rachel has a list of weird out of pocket shit nico says bc sometimes that boy will say the most cryptic things with the straightest face and it would be a crime not to keep track of them

• when rachel goes to study in paris they 100% visit her not just for Suspicious Prophecy reasons they just have fun!! maybe they accidentally discover a new path in the catacombs, maybe they break into the louvre, who knows

[fancyfade]

Do you think Roy would immediately help his friends with kids or spend a good amount of time laughing and watching the chaos first: Like would he be all "my time has come" and be the perfect uncle or be the absolute worst to mess with his friends. Also what kinds of things do you think the new parents would bond over.

I think that he would laugh at them but not for long then he would be 'my time has come'. but also make fun of them. he would keep it up until dinah shows up and reminds everyone he let lian have an (unloaded) gun as a toy for a bit...

at the beginning i feel like they would bond over 'holy shit am i a *real* adult now? saving the world is comparatively easy this baby is too tiny how do i protect it' especially with them having seen the scarier parts of the world on a daily basis

i feel like dick, raven, and kory* would bond over 'wait a minute that WASN'T normal/ WASN'T how you were supposed to treat a kid...' though dick presumably got some of this when he was being batman to damian's robin and he avoided a lot of the mistakes bruce made with him, but i'm not sure raven or kory ever really talked about what unfair decisions their parents/guardians made for them when they were children? like raven expresses some resentfulness at the way that she was raised to be the vessel through which trigon would be destroyed (not to anyone else though) in the forrester arc and how she wishes that she had been prepared for the challenges of a normal life, and i feel like if her kid had any of her demon powers she would be extremely torn between 'it is my duty to make sure the world doesn't get destroyed' and 'holy shit my childhood fucked me up and i can't imagine telling my kid to repress their emotions the same way i was'. then you have kory who was traded away to be a slave in exchange for the war ending and i think if kory ever thought back on that after she had a kid she would just be so horrified at the idea of doing that to her own kid and it may lead to some re-evaluations like... holy shit! My dad majorly screwed me over! Who could do that!

i feel like the people who had extreme expectations on them as kids for one reason or another (raven, dick, kory, vic) would all be torn on how to do this like... for the most part, they would view their training and expectations as extremely necessary, but also it did negatively affect them in some cases... i think vic might in a way be slightly chiller because he did make up with his dad where raven and kory haven’t (well raven with azar and her mom, not her dad) and may not have a chance to ever ... and dick just isn’t gonna talk about his problems to bruce at all period :P but i think vic would be able to both give his kid high expectations and not give them a complex, he would try to avert some stuff that bugged him when he was a kid (like saying you have to do x instead of y) yet also encourage them to be excellent in whatever they do...

i also think that once their kids get to kid-superhero age they would all suffer a crisis of ‘ok we were doing this at their age but also... our babies... ‘ and feel super protective

* (and inb4 I am not saying all of this is at the same level of severity. I don't think bruce is abusive to dick or at least i think he SHOULDNT be written that way but I do think that he has a hard time dealing with emotions and it would lead to dck understanding how the way he dealt with it did not wind up feeling fair to him all the time and he does not want to repeat those mistakes).

[ravenkinnie]

What would you say is the ideal Batfam dynamic?

I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm a hater and I love angst and when people fight <3 I think they should all have beef with each other and almost nobody should get along <3

the only people who should have good relationships with each other:

*damian: cass and dick ofc edited to add steph fuck

*cass: tim, steph, dick, babs, damian, duke

*duke literally is just vibin, he has like no conflict with anyone but someone once said his one conflict should be with batcow and I think that's fucking funny

jason has the most drama potential!!! he should be a sort of anti-hero, doing his thing and working by his principles but with some conflicted feelings and yearning for his family, like he shouldnt compromise his principles to get along with bruce or dick better but if they have to work together they would be like "wish all that shit didn't happen and it could be like this now" but it's not because it did happen

I don't care for tim but why the fuck would jason consider him his brother tbh... king came back at 22, if my mom adopted a 17 year old after I had no contact with her for like 7 years i would be like "that's the guy living in my moms house" not "yeah that's my little brother" what fucking families do people have what

cass would hate jason like I don't know what sort of lobotomy fanon cass would have to go through to just be like :< pls don't kill uwu but cass is so much more strict on her no killing rule and her belief in how valuable life is is so fundamental (even bruce says so!!! please read her batgirl run she's an insanely nuanced character!!!),their ethics are so fundamentally different I don't think they would get along at all

I think damian should forever think jason is a clown and be mean to him, I think he should bully him into a hair transplant even. every time jason references his death damian should be like "okay and? I died too and I'm over it now #builtdifferent", bruce refers to jason as his brother and damians like sorry I have one brother and like seven sisters idk this man

bruce shouldn't be like. beating his kids because hashtag not my batman 💀 but people make him waaaay too functional he's 100% a dysfunctional well intentioned father who tries but doesn't get it right a lot and has a lot of his own shit that prevents him from connecting with his kids or doing 100% right by them

babs and bruce had such an interesting relationship preboot holy shit, she was one of the people he really did consider his equal and she did not let him get away with half the shit he did to others - and it makes sense because she was in his thirties while he was in his forties like obv he's not gonna treat her like a barely experienced 20 yo I wiiiiish they brought it back

steph would literally die before calling bruce her father y'all are wildin, she would be like yeah I get that your were Going Through Something (aka being butchered by comics writers with hard ons for frank miller) but also. forgive never forget <3 and he would be like yeah I'm working through that guilt in therapy anyways here's your college degree paid for do you want an internship too

(I think batgirls in general should be like... only tangentially under bruces supervision like babs made batgirl by specifically going against bruce shshhs it's always been babs' (and bettes but rip bettes legacy at this point) mantle like batgirls are mentored by oracle not batman and I think they should always respond to oracle first I don't like what they are doing with this legacy at all. I wish it continued being passed down to new young girls taken in by birds of prey as current batgirls (steph, cass) age and grow into their own identities) (I will literally always say it. steph should have trained under oracle as batgirl and then become spoiler again because spoiler was a good ass identity on it's own and she really would have made a name for herself with it)

[char-lotteral]

I agree with Kishimoto never trying to use the girls. The hate they get is not fair. I used to defend Sakura back in the days because I hoped kishi would do her justice. When shippuden started I WAS SO HAPPY because I thought this was the start of something great for Sakura and the girls but NOOOOO. Every time, Sasuke showed kishi turned her brainless. If you compare Naruto's actions and Sakura's actions to sasuke, you'd see they're completely different. What's up with that weird fake love confession scene 😭? It makes her look like she was manipulating Naru. JEEZ.

Also he literally had badass Tenten and Temari with cool useful abilities and he didn't use them ?! TF ?! Thank god for modern authors who treat their characters with respect :)

okay2 you know how i am with these longass rants so click readmore and brace yourselves

The way I see it, Sakura's character development in shippuden was always one step forward, two steps back. She gets this really badass scene (like her fight with Sasori and those cool ass medical skills) but is then regressed back into a pining girl in love every time Sauce is on screen or Kishi just throws her in the background YET AGAIN.

I love Sakura's abilities actually. Her brute strength, intelligence, vast knowledge and skill as a medic nin. But what I dislike about her character is how kishi handled her feelings for Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was so???? huh??? it was so damn toxic and i never once understood why both Nardo and Sak were so obsessed with him. They were a team for one year???? I mean its great that they care about him alot but Sauce's feelings were kinda valid. His freakin clan died. Id go batshit crazy against my own village too. BUT BESIDES THAT. Both Nart and Sakura's Sasuke obsession was so annoying. 80% of shippuden was literally Keeping up with the Uchihas or Naruto yelling SASUKEH. BUT what irks me so much is the fandom's double standards with both Naruto and Sakura. "Oh Sakura shouldve gotten over her Sasuke obsession" but then turn around and call Naruto's obsession cute and gush about how he's so in love with him!!

Hot take but the only reason why sasunaru is "the most developed ship with the most chemistry" is because theyre both male characters.

I guarantee you if Naruto was a girl and SHE would be the one to have this unhealthy obsession who was chasing around Sasuke, the fandom would shit on Naruto just as much. And if Sasuke were a girl, Sauce would be sidelined like the rest of the female cast and Naruto would have another male character to have a "brotherly bond" with, because thats the only bond Kishimoto is actually good at developing. Yey for male characters having all the screentime and cool assets <333

And about that confession scene, I get her intentions. I really do. I understand that she did that in order to bring him home and that she cares about him but honey, w-why?? Why lie to him about your feelings?? Supposed he DID believe her, then what? then what kishi???? huh??? Some of her fans point the blame on Sai or whatever but I personally dont see why that scene was at all necessary. Maybe to establish Naruto's feelings for her wasnt all that serious? or his maturity? idk man. That scene was such a clusterfuck.

In the end her development in The Last and in Boruto was immaculate. She had one of the best glow ups in the old gen and ironically enough, her character wasn't butchered in Boruto. She got badass scenes she was cheated from in shippuden. I also love how she's finally getting the spotlight she deserves. Unlike the other konoha 12 :,)))

Okay onto the next female character that Kishi completely wasted. My baby. My light. 🙈 AAAHHH HINATAA.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OKAY2 DEEP BREATHS.

Let me just establish this real quick. Hinata's goal was to get stronger because of Naruto, her goal was never to be with Naruto. She wanted to become someone who is worthy enough to stand beside him, someone whom he can consider as an equal, as a partner. She NEVER once said "marrying Naruto-kun is my all time goal UwU" (if youre one of those weirdos who interpret her character that way, youre immediately invalid, go take a hike)

I personally dont have anything against their crushes but to the point of making their personalities revolve around these guys every time theyre onscreen is so fucking frustrating. And with the way he writes their dialogues is so.damn.cringey. Like that one scene in the war arc with Tsunade and Madara

"I mAy bE a WomAn but I aM nOt WeAAKKKK"

BAAHAHAAHHA WHAT?? Everyone else gets coolass monologues and one liners but thats the best you can come up with Kishi?????? Hilarious.

If im being honest. Hinata's character is actually kinda well written. Not well executed. Dear God no. But with the way he set her story, her personality, her chracterization. She's honestly one of the best written female characters on the show. IMO. By Kishi's standards of writing women ofc. She's hands down one of the most complex characters. Her shy personality wasnt out of the blue, it wasnt a cutesy waifu trait. Her abusive upbringing made her that way. Her trauma turned her that way. So yeah, sue her if she looked up to Naruto as an inspiration when everyone else in her family treated her like dust. Shit on her for having Naruto's love light in her dark when her own damn father wouldnt even look her in the eye and her entire clan shunned her because she was "weak." She doesnt owe her family shit so idgaf what they do with the Hyuga clan. Neji and Hanabi aren't included btw

Im not gonna deny that her role in the show was only as the love interest but tbh for a love interest, Im glad her character wasnt so one dimensional. It just pains me SO MUCHHH how fucking wasted she is. Every time she's with Naruto, they always make her into a damsel in distress. They always feel the need to turn Naruto into the heroic prince. How cute.

LIKE THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LAST WHERE SHE'S THROWN IN THE CAGE?? WHY??? LET NARUTO AND HINA FIGHT THAT FREAKING ALIEN GOD TOGETHER. QUIT WITH THE TOXIC MASCULINITY. WE GET IT. NARUTO'S STRONG. GOOD FOR HIM. NOW LETS SEE HINATA THROW HANDS AND PUT NARUTO IN THE CAGE GODAMMIT

Hnggggg dont get me started with her role in Boruto. She's as relevant as a damn houseplant in the manga. They made her into an invisible trophy wife and "the mc's mother" and we all KNOW what happens to the shounen mc's mother once mc is in need of character development :) Quit putting her in the background. Give us that scene where she won against Hanabi DESPITE being retired for years. Give us that scene where she trains Boruto. GIVE US ANY FIGHT SCENE OF HER WHERE HER POTENTIAL ISNT WASTED WTF?¿

Now if you say that Hinata didnt have development. YOURE INVALID. She came from an abusive household, the shyest girl in her class, her insecurities got in the way of her own confidence, had difficulty of standing up for herself now became a loving mother of two, has the guts to kick her husband out of the house(with whom she couldnt even keep eye contact with when she was a kid) became the strongest hyuga, most supportive wife and mother, and has given her kids the comforting childhood she never had as a kid.

She has one of the most beautiful stories in the show and if you think her personality is only Naruto-kun and big boobs, then im sorry that you cant appreciate such a heartwarming story.

And I agree, killing her would honestly make me feel more at ease than continue to see her suffer because of godawful misogynistic writers. But at least let her die in an epic fight. Please. PLEASEE. She got nerfed so bad, i feel a physical pain every time i think about it

Okay what else. I think Ino got pretty good development. Another wasted potential in shippuden but she's doing good for herself in Boruto. I dont know what Temari is up to. They basically made her into another classic angry mom who beats up her husband for comedy trope. Haha very funny and original! Im not sure with her career, im not that invested in the anime.

Tenten??

oh G O D Tenten. The dirtiest of all. Her jokes about her screentime is so mean and i hate that its true ahsjhs. She was the only female character in OG who's goal wanted to be as strong as Tsunade but what did Kishi do to her?? Sidelined. Forgotten. Irrelevant. Like every damn female on the show :D

Konan shouldnt have died. I blame plot armor. I know in my heart that Konan wouldve kicked Obito's ass if it weren't for Kishi's boomer mindset.

Tsunade had so much hype when she was introduced but died down in the war arc. Madara wiped the floor with the kages. Holy shit. Not only that, but yipee! Naruto is there to save the day AGAIN!!!!

AND UGHHHH If the female characters were given proper treatment then maybe MAYBE all the endgame couples wouldve made fucking sense????¿¿¿

I think that ends my rant. Im not sure how the female characters in Boruto are handled. Except maybe Sarada (she's pretty well executed in the manga imo). But arguably they are sooo much better handled in Boruto than how the old gen girls were. And thats because Kishi isnt anywhere near the new gen female cast. I cant formulate a solid opinion with the other new gen female cast since im not entirely invested in the anime. Not ashamed to admit that I only watch it for the sunshine moments and for Hinata :DD

[numbaoneflaya]

You can count on me to pull up with a thousand of questions sbdhdh. A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ; A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ; A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ; A9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ;

A3.Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Shawty got that stockholm syndrome in a way. She is…. Sometimes aware of it, though she wouldn't call it that any more. Maybe at first in the basement she was more aware, but now that she can come and go she thinks its a thing of the past. tries not to dwell on it. Kind of in a “well its literally not that bad its kind of fun its kind of romantic were just quirky <3” way, will get mad if someone insists she has stockholm or that the relationship is fucked. Will get enraged and upset on Vincent's behalf, probably cry and yell at you.

A22. Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I intended her to be fairly average, maybe kind of cute. It's generally the way she dresses/acts in public that draws attention, not her looks. I tend to make most of my ocs on the average scale besides a select few.

C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Good question…. Jillys morals are pretty simple- always be kind and nice, murder and hurting other people is bad, and you shouldnt lie. She sticks to those pretty strictly herself despite the situations she gets put in, often to her own detriment. But she doesn't always put a stop to those behaviors from the people she surrounds herself with, so she's sort of accomplice to bad acts of violence just by not snitching. So somewhat situational? She tries not to think about it.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Not comfortable! She hadn't seen a lot of it before her early twenties and was always sort of sheltered. dead fish are flushed down the toilet bcs they go to the ocean to live again, right? Thought cows and such all died of old age peacefully before they were made into burgers until she was like… twelve. 💀Won't kill mice and other critters despite her prey drive bcs she would feel too bad. And this is just for animal death, she's much more uncomfortable with human death. Also a thing she tries to ignore.

F3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

God no. She hates small spaces unless she's hiding in them and tiny homes have no room for all the shit she stashes! No room for zoomies, or climbing on the furniture, or wrestling around on the floor. It would be filled with junk within a week.

A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ;

A18. Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He's never had much to be jealous of, as he's never really been over involved in romantic relationships. They were usually mutually beneficial and somewhat clinical in nature. Hes also pretty sure of himself and his value as an asset and lover. If he finds someone who peaks his interest and they become an item though, he might get jealous if he catches them flirting with other people. Hell be peeved at first but know flirtation in business has its value, so to make himself feel better might flirt with someone else while they are nearby. Make a game of it, see who wins.

A23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Appearances are crucial to him and spends a lot of time and money making sure he looks his best. He needs to appear above the rabble and impenetrable, dressing well and having immaculate posture and an air of both grace and otherworldliness.

B9. What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely not one to find fart jokes funny. Very rarely laughs genuinely or full heartedly, he keeps all his expressions of emotion close to his chest. Sharp sardonic wit is appealing to him in the right circumstances, even a jab directed at himself can make him chuckle if it's well formed enough. Irony almost always gets him, even if its dark irony or gallows humor. Bit of a hard nut to crack. Would laugh enough that hed have to cover his mouth with his hand if he were to see Felix fall face first into mud, though. More often than not you can tell he finds something amusing by a gleam in his eyes and a slight squint.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Well he used to have a real moral code :/. Now I mean…. The ends justify the means. By any means necessary. He considers his family's needs first, then the good of the world, then any individual in the world. Has ordered executions of entire families, had babies stolen and sent away, sent armies to certain death knowing full well they would all die, commanded individuals be tortured for information, sacrificed many in what he considers to be a game of chess where he is the player and others are the pawns. He finds senseless violence and savagery to be unforgivable, but if violence has a sense and purpose to employ it, then he will do so.

H2. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Nirn tends to be a very thoughtful and attentive person in general, just for the wrong reasons lmaoooo. But with a lover? He's going to be utilizing that to show them how much he cares and using his powers for good. Mention you like a certain fabric while shopping one time and then complain your favorite tunic has a wine stain in it several months later, he's going to be taking your measurements for a new one in your preferred material without a moment's notice. Very keen on picking up moods, expressions and tone. Also has a very good memory. He doesn't really think about it but gifts are how he shows his love. Also a great attentive listener.

A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ;

A5. Are they good at handling change in their life?

I would say so, yeah. Shes been used to things constantly changing since she was little and has had little to no control on outside influences. Shes also not one to over think about the past and lament, shes more of a one foot in front of the other, the only time is the present kind of gal. Of course large changes like becoming a warden were a bit more severe, but shes mostly able to think in the present as long as she has immediate problems to deal with.

B9.What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Slapstick is always gonna make her laugh as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, even if its her own ass tripping into a tree. Not a fan of scare pranks, 0/10 recommend trying to scare Thurwen. You will end up with a broken nose at best and an angry elf. Likes puns, but she's the one to groan at them and try and hide the grin spreading across her face. Gallows humor but only if its her in the gallows, otherwise doesn't find it funny at all. If a little kid calls someone a fartcicle she will be tears in the eyes giggling, which is hard when your warden commander and everyone looks toward you to be serious and mature gyshsdhdfsghsd.

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

She definitely holds herself to moral ideals and is very hard on herself, but has realistic moral expectations for others. She can understand self serving and people only wanting to survive and she will only give people a little bit of shit for it, no one's perfect. But then she expects herself to be perfect and berates herself constantly for not living up to the hero of ferelden warden commander ideals.

D1. How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Atheist ever since her mom died when she was a kid, but now Shes in a weird mixed state ever since the urn of sacred ashes where shes like. fuck the maker, but Andraste is cool I guess. So respects/believes in the power of Andraste while thinking the maker is a piece of shit and the chantry sucks ass. Even she doesnt know what she really believes, but she did see the ghosts of Andrastes disciples and Shartan, used her ashes as healing salve, killed an old god, etc. So shes been in a weird place recently, crisis of faith/non faith pretty continual.

I5. Are they a good cook?

I mean…. She can cook basics. Shes been feeding herself and the alienage kids since she was old enough to walk so she knows how to get protein and make things edible. Does it taste good? Probably not. She didnt see her first spice till she was 17 years old, but she can skin a rabbit in seven seconds.

LA9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

She tries to excuse bad behavior of herself or others a lot, yeah fgdgdsfhdhs. Mostly she doesnt have to make excuses for herself because she can wholeheartedly be like “yeah i fucked up but whatever im sexy and large and awesome and everyone loves me 🙄whatever baby” and when other people fuck up shes pretty sympathetic even though they are not as large nor as sexy. Shes very used to forgiving and excusing herself its totally alien to her when she really fucks up and is suddenly like wait… valkya…. Did bad?? What is this feeling. Shame?? Guilt?? IMPOSSIBLE.

A13. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

She hates those giant bugs in morrowind and valenwood a whole fucking lot but I wouldnt exactly place it as a phobia. Those huge mosquitoes and haorvers got no respect but she really hates the morrowind bugs ever since they knocked her over and jumped her while she was pants down peeing drunk as hell in the sand :/ never forgave. Never forgot.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

She was raised in a healthy household that tought the basics, prety much “harming others needlessly, stealing, torture, rape, dessecrating the dead, being selfish and not doing right by others, etc etc all basic bad things” are her morals. Her morality is basically treat others how you want to be treated. And if they treat you badly, then have fun beating the shit out of them to show everyone else not to fuck with you. Its a pretty nordic morality in that way. Her morality is also since she was ‘blessed’ with being so large and strong, that she has to also look out for the little guy who cant protect themselves. So If someone treats them how valkya wouldn't want to be treated, then beat the shit out of the person harming them to show them the little guys got backup. Her parents raised her to be a hero and thats p much how she sees herself, which has its benefits and its fuckin problems.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Fucking up Dem and Dariens relationship for sure dude :/ valkya always gonna be sulking over that one. She doesnt regret becoming a vestige, even though it would have made her so much happier not to be because it ended up saving so many people and the world. She regrets not spending more time with Naryu, regrets always having other life saving business she had to run off to, regrets not cherishing the time they had together. Regrets not telling Lyris how she feels, either. Regrets not being able to save as many people as she should have, regrets she wasnt stronger in coldharbor and didnt break out herself. But she tries not to think about it <3

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

When she was seven she once spent two months training to hold her breath underwater, because her cousin always held it longer and won the gold bet. She trained for hours almost drowning in the river until she could comfortably hold it for up to three minutes. During the next holiday when they all got together again the competitions were on and they both went under- her cousin won, holding their breath for four more minutes before they decided to come up. This was the first lesson she learned that shocked her world view- you always need to know your opponents capabilities. (after she lost 26 gold in the bets, her mother later had to inform her that her cousin was an argonian.)

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

tree i’m had such a shitty day and ughhhh why does everyone around me suck?? i wish i could have friends i genuinely liked and wanted to be around- sounds kind of shitty but i don’t rlly like the people in my life. homophobic sexist assholes all of them and they were especially shitty today.

what sent me over the edge was a childhood friend calling luca a GAY film and saying she didn’t want to watch it. and the way she said it.. god... then an old woman talks about my body. in front of me. like i’m not a teenage girl whose body gets debated about way too often. and then i had to help cook while the boys didn’t, and oh someone basically implied that i was stupid and that my parents made too much money for my own good.

i know this is just stupid little things but it’s always the smallest comments that hurt the most.

you don’t have to answer this one, i just needed to vent and you were the unfortunate bastard on the other side, i’m sorry bud and thank you.

no you have nothing to apologize for, thats really shitty and im so sorry you had to go through that. some people just dont like to open their minds enough to realize that what theyre saying/doing is wrong, and unfortunately that means the people who can have to suffer through it.

honestly i hate people like that, like first of all its a kids movie. theyre not gonna have gay sex in front of you and peel your eyeballs open and force you to watch, its literally a movie made for CHILDREN about love and acceptance, and if you took a second to, again, open your mind, you would know that. and even if it was the huge, gay thing and they did have gay sex like? so? close you eyes if it hurts your ass that much, its a movie! honestly at the base of it, its just homophobia born of hate and ignorance. and no one, ever, should have to be told that their body is wrong/bad, especially since bodies really shouldnt matter at all? and the fact that an old woman did it, like do you not remember how it felt for you? do you not see anything happening around you? were you not ever treated the same? dont you want to be better?

gods, the stupid/your parents are "spoiling" you comment is one ive heard so many times and it always hurts like how much time and energy does it take you to say those things versus shutting your mouth and fucking off? and why does it fucking matter? you cant take the jealousy that you didnt get off your ass and work to make money on a child who didnt have any choice in any matter! just fuck off!

it is, its like little papercuts all over, of course it hurts more like that than ripping a bandaid off. im always here if you want to vent, dont worry. you dont need to apologize for anything.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

TBH............. Bridgerton is one of those curious shows where I find very few of the characters are remotely likeable lmaoooo. So, negativity below, because I’m just ranting about what i disliked about each character!!! 

(despite all this i actually very much enjoyed the show, jsyk) 

Eloise is one of the most likable characters for me, but even she is shown to be very self-centered. she hardly ever listened to others because she was too busy ranting about her own woes (of course, the lack of agency given to women does in fact suck and she’s right to speak up about that. still. she is extremely one-track minded and never pays attention to other’s problems). Also. LET HER BE A LESBIAN, I’M BEGGING YOU (along with her gay/bi brother Benedict, more on that below) 

I actually do like Daphne a lot for the most part. I liked her sense of duty and responsibility, her kind and nurturing nature, and that she is not that snobbish. and honestly i don’t blame her for wanting children and I DO blame Simon for his original transgression of kissing her while she was alone in the garden when he knows damn well he’s risking her entire fucking reputation because he just ~burns~ for her, like please. keep it in your pants.  

it’s still incredibly fucked up that she violated his consent. it sort of, idk, taints their whole relationship after that point? they really should have written that conflict differently so as to not involve rape. that goes without saying in all honesty... at the same time, important to call attention to. 

but that aside, at the end of the day... i found it odd that their characters are fundamentally incompatible without Simon changing his tune about children, which is, eehh? And, yeah, it’s sort of a stupid he doesn’t want kids just to spite his father but he WAS traumatized and, idk- i feel like people who don’t want kids generally shouldnt be made to have them or “change their minds”. But, one of them had to change and it wasn’t gonna be Daphne sooo..... whatever. 

moving along. boy howdy, Anthony was quite selfish and unlikeable. i don’t even know how to elaborate. i liked Siena enough but it was annoying watching him jerk her around and flip flop between taking care of his family, and taking care of her, which rendered him nearly useless to both (to be fair, i feel like that’s the Point- it’s just like. his Developmental Arc. but it makes him into a shit person for the first while LOL) 

I liked Penelope at first because she seemed gentle and compassionate, but turned out she’s super fucked up like. like. girl. also all that over a boy who doesnt even like you? uuugghhh. but at the same time, i fucking love Nicola and she gets points for being not stick thin, which is just refreshing to see?? (next challenge: cast plus size women in roles that arent like, the wallflower who nobody notices or somethiing, thaaaaaaaaaks.......)  

Now Marina, I actually liked a lot, she’s one of my favourites. Still, she was stubborn and often completely uninterested in truly considering what she might need to do to secure a good life for herself (like, she was great with the plot with Colin and the tea, but after that she just gave up and refused other solutions while offering NO NEW DIRECTION herself. like what were her plans? she seemed smart but only when things would be convenient for her which. sigh. I hope Philip treats her right, she seriously deserves good things). I was worried they were going to villianize her more (and I guess some people think that she was villianized w the Colin plot but idk i was rooting for her to get him and elope XDDD) which wasn’t/isn’t the cutest look given she’s the only black girl of the Young Cast..... like, I’m really glad they made her complex and I personally thought she was compelling and one of the better characters but she could have had a bit more agency and a better outlook within the narrative soo.. hmmmmmmm.

Benedict has potential, but he needed to be gayer ngl. his plotline with the seamstress was uncompelling AF because he’s just following in the steps of Anthony, yawn. if he was having a gay struggle or something that would at least make it fucking interesting???  He trule had way more tension with the Gay Artist anyway (i am glad Artist has a beau tho, that was so sweet!). idk honestly, he was just so boring once he got with the seamstress. disappointing. 

oh... I do have 1 character with zero complaints!!The Prince of Prussia was delightful. He was kind, gentle, and understanding. I miss him tbh 

anyway, moving on to more general stuff about the show, despite the fact i wasn’t rooting for most characters one way or the others, i had a grand old time!!!! I don’t LIKE non-con, esp when it’s not treated with delicacy, and the way it was handled really does cheapen and taint both the relationship AND daphne’s character, BUT.... i’m personally not gonna throw away the whole show, or the relationship because of it. ugh, i’m just gonna sort of compartmentalize that so i can save my own headaches. 

and, honestly, for the moment I’m enjoying seeking out other’s takes! it’s fun seeing everyone’s reactions, positive and critical! i’m glad we mostly agree Benedict should have been/is gay lmao and otherwise its fun to see what other people took from it. 

that being said, I don’t see myself remaining in this “fandom” long, though,  because it just doesn’t have the makings of a fixation for me... simply not enough gay relationships to get attached to,, because i am admittedly one of those queer fangirls that needs a compelling relationship to sink my teeth into and rn none of them are quite cutting it oops ^^; 

[clumsyclifford]

bella I would love a directors cut on literally any of the rilex you’ve written, but specifically it’s always her, and you, and me, or for these days you’ve been stuck in my brain 💙

OHHHHHH those are some CHOICESSSSSS lucy. fuck yeah. let’s get into it. ill link them both here but we’ll take em one at a time

it’s always her, and me, you

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

here’s a cut for convenience cos i KNOW i’m gonna go long here.

okay! let’s start with the rilisex fic.

it’s always her, and me, and you

so like it says in the ao3 notes, this fic came from realizing just how frequently rian and alex kiss each other like, all the time? just? casually? for funsies? this was another one of those situations like i mentioned where the hook aka first line (“Rian's no expert, but he doesn't think normal friends kiss this much.”) just appeared in my head and i was like heyyy that’s a GOOD first line. i have to build from that line. that’s the hook, that’s the summary, that’s the core. 

something i discovered upon searching through the editing history of the doc: i had originally sort of intended to go a direction with this where in some other circumstance, rian would see alex giving jack a super casual friendly kiss and he’d get all sad/jealous and be like sure why SHOULDNT alex kiss jack after all its just a thing he does with his FRIENDS. but the fic ended up going a different way and honestly? im glad. i like this way better.

the role of singin in the rain in this fic actually has a HILARIOUS backstory because the night i originally wrote that conversation in the tour bus kitchen, i went into the club and said the following

and then. the next day. rian streamed with ricky, and i asked if he’d ever seen singin in the rain, and he ANSWERED ME and said he hadn’t. so first of all i had already written the scene and i then had to rewrite it to make it so rian wouldn’t have seen it but also!!! i literally asked rian fucking dawson if he’d seen a movie for the sole reason of using that information for fanfiction!!!! and he provided me with the information i needed!!!! whole thing is just fucking hysterical to me. ANYWAY.

ANYWAY, the other reason why sitr has such a big role in the fic is because megs and i watched the movie together while i was in the middle of working on the fic, so it was extremely fresh in my mind. in fact i can probably show you this: i had this comment left for myself when i was kind of trying to figure out if i could make a real metaphor of sorts with the sitr ot3 and the Big Three of this fic. some of this ended up in rian’s wild musings in the hotel scene but i did conclude that it wouldn’t really have worked and that was definitely true but anyway. fuck it, director’s cut, here’s the kind of shit i leave for myself to refer to

so that’s part of the reason why it became such a puzzle piece of this fic, but real talk, it’s also just because i love singin in the rain it’s one of my favorite movies lmao

briefly gonna also touch on lisa and why she’s in this fic because i realize that rian/alex/lisa is an interesting approach to rilex! first of all, i love lisa. i love alex and lisa. and it occurred to me that there was really no reason to split lisex up just to make rilex happen. plus there’s this tweet that really just pushed me over the edge of being like yeah, rilisex is extremely plausible. so that’s that on that.

as for the scene in the hotel room while they’re watching sitr, there is a small piece of that scene - from when alex starts kissing rian’s shoulders etc to “it would defy the laws of nature not to” - that i actually wrote before anything else in that scene. that small piece got stretched out and edited quite a bit from how it started but it did function as a sort of foundation around which i built the rest of the scene, because that small section sort of ~came to me~ absolutely out of nowhere, and i really liked the Vibe it had and i wanted to include it. i THINK that was the only piece of this fic that i wrote Out Of Order - for the most part this was written chronologically.

ALSO!!! omg this is exciting, this fic actually has a deleted scene!!!!!! i hate cutting scenes but i also hate having scenes that are less than 1k and this one didn’t really contribute much to the fic. i can probably share it here right? sure why not ! hopefully you can read this. it originally took place after the scene where alex and rian call lisa for the first time. the question of “what gets left into interview videos and what gets cut” is also just interesting to me as a (fic) concept in general so...eyes emoji, but here’s my mini-exploration that i cut from the original fic. enjoy lol it’s silly <3

oh! also one more thing!! the very final scene was included for two reasons. the first reason being that when i write getting-together fics, i really prefer to add on a scene After they Get Together because i love to write domestic established relationship stuff and i think that’s a satisfying reward for a reader who’s just slogged through all the mutual pining and bullshit to get the characters together. but the OTHER reason is that i got an anon (here it is!) and i read that ask and was immediately like well shit. now i have to fucking include this. for the anon and for myself. so you can thank that anon for that last scene. (also i wanted to include merrikat especially since i had to cut their little moment in the interview scene above.)

so....................whew. i think i’ve bled that fic dry. holy shit that’s a lot of Stuff. OKAY! let’s move on.

~

these days you’ve been stuck in my brain

so!!! THIS fic was the breakthrough after (what felt like) a long bout of writer’s block. long for me was maybe two weeks, but i am the kind of person who is always writing, and two weeks was a long time to go with little to no inspiration/motivation to write anything. i had also been in a weird narrative headspace because i’d been binge-watching disney shows (jessie > austin and ally > girl meets world) and i don’t know how well i can explain this but the way those shows are written is a lot snappier and cares way less for realistic and consistent character development or plots or relationships, and so i was stuck between caring a lot about including those things in my fics but also being unable to conceptualize them in writing because my brain was in Disney Writing Mode. does that make sense? this is rhetorical so let’s go with yes. so anyway. i was in a slump

actually what i ended up doing was basically googling something like “au prompts tumblr” or something and just scrolling through posts. i saw something about soulmate telepathy and i actually tried to write something totally different before i wrote this one, but the first attempt was a different concept and then the direction i took it was like......it wasn’t quite right and i realized that i was kind of writing dark disney style? there is really no way for me to explain what i mean by that because it seems really obvious to me but that’s just because i’m inside my own head so just take my word. 

anyway. attempt #1 of soulmate telepathy rilex went poorly, and this fic was attempt #2. i kinda took the soulmate telepathy thing and changed it as i saw fit and i also went back to skim helen’s telepathy fic because obviously she’s the pro and then i tried not to steal her ideas. and as i was writing it i kinda realized i was doing the whole quirky funny best friend character with jack and also doing the whole “somehow this not-very-dramatic situation with teenagers is treated as The Most Dramatic Thing Ever and that’s totally normal and nobody finds it strange” disney trope with rian and alex being soulmates and i was like (deep sigh) i have to accept that no matter how much i try to fight this, this fic is going to be tainted with disney. and that’s life

on top of that i will add that the real-life rilex were extremely inspiring during the two-day period during which i wrote this fic, because that was when the once in a lifetime video came out and in the brief pre-video livestream rilex were Beyond Married and that definitely helped in the writing of fic rilex!

hmmmm what can i tell you about this fic itself.................honestly, i don’t think there’s much to tell! rian is a band kid because in real life rian was a band kid and he’s staff manager at rita’s just like he was in real life. there is truthfully not a lot to unpack here that i can think of!

oh here’s something i guess: rian and alex go on a date in this fic! that is because watching So Much Disney made me realize that i often forget the fact that people just. go on dates. sometimes. look i clearly do not have an active romantic life but i also really liked the idea of alex and rian going on a date despite not knowing if they’d be soulmates or not and liking each other organically just by getting to know each other, rather than being victim to the whole soulmate thing. like i wanted them to build a connection so that they would want to be soulmates. and then the audience would want that for them too. stakes!! very important.

i can tell you i had a mild crisis over the title of the fic because i am not a fan of the word brain and i didnt wanna use that sticky lyric for the title when it had a word i hated but it was objectively a much better title option than the other one i had, which was “sticky just like the song in my head” but i obviously decided on the former and it has not upset me nearly as much as i expected it to so that was the right decision imo

so! i think that’s all on that! sorry (?) that it got so long although then again i don’t know what’s to be expected in a director’s cut for two long fics but thank you for asking me about these, i love them both so very much rilex is so supremely underrated but so very important

[autumn-foxfire]

What Im thinking about today: BNHA n stigmatization of psychology.

The thing is, we as humans are very ready to help each other (most of the time). Thats why we try to rehabilitate prisoners, thats why we volunteer, thats why proffesions such as doctors, social workers and psychologists etc exist. I think we talked here before how most villains in the series havent been failed by heroes, they've been failed by societal safety nets that were meant to catch ppl like them, just like social workers try to catch endangered kids and psychologists try to catch people with mental problems.

Now i study psychology so ill concentrate on that. Obviously it depends from place to place but mental care is still very often looked down upon as 'something for crazy people.' I have personal expirience with that as when i suggested to my dad that maybe he should look into a psychologist too (after my brother started going to one) cuz he has some issues that he could use a hand dealing with, his response was 'what? But im not crazy'. I study psychology and he still often makes jokes about me treating crazy people in the future. I interviewd a school psychologist for a class and she told us that one of the first things she has to do in a school is get students to relax and feel comfortable coming to her with problems cuz there is a very clear stigma in everyones mind that asking for help with your mental problems is something bad, something wrong, something that means you are crazy, wierd, other and people do fear that stigmatization. Going to a psychologist doesnt mean you are crazy, it means you are having problems that you cant deal with on your own and that you need proffesional help with. Nothing more, nothing less. Those problems can be depression or they can be helping you to deal with lingering emotions from your divorce. Big or small, psychology is simply there to give you support and tools you need to feel good again. You wouldnt stigmatize someone for going to the doctor for a soar throat or cancer so you shouldnt stigmatize someone seeking p much the same help for mental illness.

But people still do because things ingrained in society are very very hard to uproot and things are going for the better with every generation but its a painfully slow process and there is no telling how many people fall through that net because they dont seek help when they still can because they think 'im not crazy im not gonna go to those mumbo junbo psychologist that mess with your head' which is very much like going 'im not gonna go to a doctor for my infected wound, they would mess with my body'. Untreated infections spread and get worse and people fall through.

This is what leads me back to bnha. We dont know exactly how long the world of quirks existed, i think i saw a post breaking it down to be for about 100-300 years but for the life of me i cant remember. We know its not terribly long. 100 years may seem long until you remember a single human can live to 100 years old. Now my question is, if a science such as psychology that has been present since like ancient greeks n egypt n stuff can still be stigmatized.

How accepted would quirk counseling be?

Lets not forget that quirks were heavily discriminated against in the begining, treated as monsterous and the other and the acceptence of them is still something fresh and more extreme mutations still face hate groups. Like its completly canon that there are people alive now in bnha whos parents or grandparents faced discrimination or died because of quirk discrimination (cough redestro cough).

Imagine being Togas parents.

Your child displays a quirk like that. You still have in memory your parent or grandparent who was discriminated and monsterized because of a similar quirk. Quirk counceling exists but why should you take your daughter there. Shes not a monster, this isnt something you should get someone else involved with, its a family matter and what do those counselors know anyway, they will treat your daughter as a monster and make everything worse. You can handle this yourself, you can teach her to supress it. Shes not a monster.

The wound festers.

This especially goes hard for japan whos big on the keeping things in the family aspect and not discracing the family. The stigma is still fresh in the memory and you dont want to be that family whos kid goes to quirk counseling. You shut the doors, you shut the windows, you deal with it within the family.

I think that while quirk counseling exists in bnha, it would most likely be seen as something thats shameful to atend, a admitance that you dont have control over your own quirk. Your friends might say 'what the fuck man why are you going there, you arent a monster' even if a quirk that has negative effects should be treated as shortsighted eyes that need glasses. Just because it doesnt function well, doesnt mean its bad. But well stigmatization of disabled is a whole nother thing our society also has problems with and that also connects to bnha (cough aoyama cough). I think thats why its so easy for people in bnha to fall through those safety nets. I do belive they exist but they are new, probably not the most super effective as most new things tend to be and are probably looked down upon.

And hate to break it to shiggy and the crew but thats the kind of a problem that can only be fixed my longterm education and normalization of asking for help rather then burning the systhem to the ground.

I hope that made sense i always get a little loopy with my points when i write a long one fgdgff

No, it makes sense.

Mental health is still stigmatized everywhere, even here in the UK where we’re supposed to have some of the best health care available (which is debatable). To bring something a little personal into this, my flatmates and I were playing a guessing game where I had to describe a word with other descriptions being taboo (in my case it was headache) and as my flatmates know I suffer from chronic headaches, I said as a clue that it was something I get often. Well, a flatmate who was a little tipsy at the time who knows about my depression shouted depression to my other shocked flatmates (I didn’t mind, in fact I found it hilarious). But after we had all calmed down, one of my flatmates said something that stuck with me: “Maybe you shouldn’t overshare things”.

Now, I don’t see telling people I have depression as something I’m oversharing. It’s not private, it’s a mental health condition I suffer from that can kill me if it goes unchecked (before starting medication again, I was very suicidal). In fact, it benefits both me and my flatmates to know that I have depression just in case. And yet it was viewed as something that I was “oversharing”.

This attitude has only arisen because people treat mental health as something that is shameful and should only be known among family members. In fact, I had no clue that DASS (a disability service in uni) was actually also for mental health issues because we’ve been raised with people treating mental health as something “in our heads” and so isn’t as important as physical disabilities, it was only until my uni pointed out that it was there for every condition, physical and mental.

The point I’m making is that I can totally see mental health in BNHA be treated as a shameful secret. Japan doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to mental health anyway (don’t they have some of the highest suicide rates?) so it wouldn’t surprise me if the BNHA universe is the same. In fact, the only mental health issues we’ve seen in BNHA currently are the extreme examples of it such as Twice and Dabi’s mania.

I would love to see Horikoshi delve a little more into quirk counselling and the potential stigma behind it. I know it’s been brought up once or twice (UA treats it as something normal but as teachers who see mental health issues all the time, it’s no wonder that they do) but not enough in my opinion when it’s probably one of the most important stop gaps between making villains.

I don’t have much hope, admittedly, but it would be something fun to explore in fanon too!

[msragdoll]

Personal stuff (TW death)

So today I went to a get together for my cousin Nick who was killed in May. I say get together because it wasn't really a funeral or service. More of a 'lets gather at Nick's favorite restaurant and be together for his memory."

And, I've got so many emotions about everything. And so I'm just gonna type it all out here and throw it into the wind so I feel heard...

I'm so mad at myself right now. I feel guilty. The last time I talked to my cousin was in 2019. I walked into the pawn shop that he (basically) owned and asked for advice on how to track down some things that were stolen from @r-ochoa . He told me he'd keep an eye out at his shop and the other one nearby and told me to check out sites like 'Let Go' but in different zip codes and counties nearby. And that was the last time I saw him.

Previous to that, maybe by a year? I saw him at his rehearsal dinner for his wedding. I hadn't even known it was happening until my mom called me and told me I should come and that an old family friend was there that I hadn't seen since I was 11 was there too. I rushed over, moreso happy to see the old friend. While I spent most of my time talking with that friend Nick made a point to hang out with us and talk too. The whole evening was about him and his soon to be bride but he made a point to join in with our catch up, spend time with my daughter and share in our time.

I didn't go to his wedding the next day...I hadn't gotten an invitation (I found out alot of people didn't, it wasn't that formal) and I'm so mad that I didn't ask him that night if I could come...

I'm mad that I never took a moment to tell him that he was the one out of two cousins I had that didn't treat me like garbage. The second cousin got frustated alot with me as a kid though, where Nick was always patient. Growing up I had 5 cousins. 4 boys; the only girl being the oldest so we never really hung out unless she was babysitting, but that rarely happened. I was the youngest. One of the boys (that 2nd cousin) was from a different part of the family so hanging out with him was usually just the two of us.

That left Nick and the two other cousins and those 3 plus me often hung out together. The other 2 cousins teamed up alot and would pick on me. They'd take my favorite stuffed animal that I insisted on treating gently and kindly and throw him up and down the stairs and push me away when Id try to get him back. Or they'd play hide and seek and ditch me. Sometimes they'd put me in dangerous situations that as a 7 year old I didn't realize how dangerous they were. They'd even steal things from me or break my things. And I wanna say I have no hatred towards my cousins for these things, as an adult I understand that kids do fucked up things, especially when they don't know how to process what theyre feeling.

But Nick. Nick never did any of those things. In fact if he was there, he'd intervene. He got my stuffed animal back for me. He'd come find me if he realized I had been ditched or put somewhere dangerous. He never took things from me, and would actually give me random things he thought I'd like from his own stuff.

Maybe it was because both of us had influences in our lives that encouraged kindness, where as the other 2 cousins didn't. Whatever it was, Nick was always there. I remember going to his grandma's house, with his sister (his sister had a different dad so I didn't see her as often as I saw Nick) and the three of us would always have a blast.

In fact, it was Nick who helped me get over my fear of motorcycles. Nick's dad, my uncle, had taken us out on bikes and I was on the back of my uncle's ATV. My leg kept getting sucked into the wheel and it hurt so bad. I kept crying and asking my uncle if we could go home, that I was hurt. But we didn't go home until later. I don't know if Nick had seen what was happening. Later on, at Nick's grandma's house (she had a HUGE property that had a track on the grounds) he asked if his sister and I would like to ride on the back of his quad and take a few laps and jumps. His sister was all for it but I was so scared. I didn't want my leg to get hurt again. I didn't want to fall off the back going off jumps either.

But he told me not to worry, he would take it slow and only go as fast as I told him. So I got on. When we got to the first jump on his track he stopped and asked if I wanted to stay on the ground, go in the air or go really high. I told him just to start out on the ground...and he listened when I asked him to take it slow. Not to go too high in the air. And by the end of it all he had built up so much confidence in me thay I had asked him to take those jumps higher and higher. I wasn't afraid anymore because he didn't throw me into a situation I had no control over....in fact... thinking about it... I think this was the first time in my life where I was allowed control over a situation....that I wasn't just plopped into something because the grown ups wanted to do it and I had to just accept it and deal with no say.

(TW: Menstruation) Nick was also there when I got my first period. He was probably a teenager by then but he didn't get weirded or grossed out. We were all having a campout sleepover at his grandma's house before his sister was moving away and I can remember the girls she had invited being kind of weirded out and me trying to hide it. I remember just kind of sitting away from them feeling gross and Nick being like "yeah, my mom told me what's going on. Mind if I sit with you and just hang out?" And so we did.

There's so many other memories I have him him, all of them good. I can't remember a single time where he was mean to me or frustrated with me. He never told me to leave him alone or to go away. If I was afraid or worried about something he never made fun of me or brushed it off. He took the time to show me how it'd be okay. I remember my mom freaking out that I was going to have this specific teacher she had growing up who was a total hard ass and Nick reassuring me that Mr. Roach was one of the kindest, coolest teachers at our school and was not the same man he was however many years ago. And Nick was right, Mr. Roach was the best teacher I ever had.

And I never told him how much it all meant to me. How his kindness always shown so bright to me, especially after losing my dad. I feel like all the fucked up cousin shit happened as soon as my dad died, especially cause he wasn't there to intervene anymore. (My dad didn't really like that side of the family so when they were around he was pretty vigilant about how they behaved) but Nick was always kind and friendly. I never felt like a burden, or 'just a girl' or annoying or all that general 'youngest one nobody likes' vibes.

And I never told him that it meant so much to me. And now I can't. And I hurt because I can't tell him and I also hurt because I feel like I shouldnt feel as sad as I do because as we grew up and my mom married and moved us away and we grew apart. I saw him less and less. The tight bond we had growing up faded as we aged and wasn't maintained. Sure everytime we saw each other we always fell back into that bond, but those times became so few and far between...and...how can I be so sad when I hadn't seen him for over 2 years? I didn't even know his wife outside of her name.

And I know that feeling that 'undeserving of feeling sad' is super irrational. But I just...I can't seem to turn it off. And it couples with the guilt and anger of never telling him how he was such a beacon of kindness growing up and how as an adult I realize how important that was for me as a child to have.

I have so many emotions about him dying right now and I've kept it all mostly to myself. But it's mostly regret and frustration at myself...I'm hurting for sure right now...

[floralkittygambler]

Reposting for reasons

Response to Honest’s post here: Doing this to spread this awareness more as I know theres a bit of a rift in the critical community - plus I really fucking go on. Im PISSED and I do apologise however it NEEDS urgent addressing. I know people will hate me for it but Im used to hate and honestly? Hating rather than helping to solve the issue only furthers my fucking point here. So yeah this is so more people are aware (no offense to any of those involved in said rift either, but this is an important message. Thank you for understanding and if I can do anything to make all sides comfortable, then please message me and I’ll do my upmost.) “ More awareness of this is needed. Even if it’s your favourite, you can’t justify their shit but rally against another’s shit. Have people tell you you’re experiences arent real or invalid because, like Husk, people have - in real life - shipped you with someone you are far from comfortable with but you still treat them like a person. Because you have basic respect. And people force you to accept harassment, touching, stalking, advances for THEIR satisfaction. People use you for their fantasies. But you’re just a ‘tsundere’ for it. Or you have addiction issues but people think being with another addict will ‘save’ you because you’re apparently too incompetent to save yourself. Love isnt some magic fuckin cure so stop romanticising it as a fuckin saviour. It’s gross and fuckin creepy. Get stalked and have someone NEVER accept your no just because you show youre still decent enough to not treat them shitty or any different from anyone else. Try having someone way older or way younger (both in morally fucked up ways) advance on you and people encourage that. People you’re supposed to feel safe around.

People touch you when you pull away or show discomfort. Follow you home. Have pictures of you and wont accept you dont like them like that and it’s not ‘playing hard to get’ or ‘the thrill of the chase’. Fuck. OFF. In fact, Im not only disappointed in the fandom. Im disappointed in the entire team who some should know better from their OWN personal experiences - or at least the bare minimal of being a fucking adult. Im disappointed in especially females (sorry idk whether girl or woman is more appropriate here-) who statistically are more likely to have experienced something similar at some point in their lives think this is a cute gay moment. No. Angel is made out as a fucking predator - Im not saying he is, Im saying that his persistence is very fucking unwelcome like one. People like Husk dont need that fucking invasiveness. They/We need patience and someone on our level. Angel’s I know are the fuckin polar opposite - and some of them I know are very sexually harassing, including unwanted touching. It’s a shitty way to present gay people. Gays are fuckin people. Some are cunts and some arent. It’s a HUMAN thing. But considering the shit theyve been subjected to, presenting a gay as a victim only to also show them as a perpetrator is insulting! And for those Ive seen argue this about how people like AD wouldnt know how to express their love normally and whatnot? His pig. His best friend. He’s in his fucking 30s. There are literal real life criminals who get molested as kids and then go on to molest kids. Not all who grow up like that turn into nonces. Stop just fucking STOP justifying and romanticising this bullshit! I used to see the good in AD but now he makes me fucking sick. Especially with my verrrrrry fucking real traumas and connections. But fuck me, eh? Because this fictional guy matters so much more. Fuck real victims. And whilst we’re at it, fuck AD too when it suits your fetishes! Sarcasm aside, the fans and the team need to straighten up their abhorrent behaviour. Stolas. Fucking clearly having an affair, knowingly fucking up his daughter’s mental health and bribing a guy into sex who only wants the book and nothing more. He even has a fucking warning button over Stolas- Guys, how do you think any of this is cute? Even the team gross me out- I genuinely see potential and talent and it’s all gone to shit to satisfy horny teens, horny adults, and literally everyone who doesnt for the life of them understand being an adult is more than sex, drugs, violence and swears! I REALLY want to keep enjoying HB/HH but it’s getting harder and harder with such ignorant and bordering lazy creators (note: lazy as in wont do the fucking research or actually listen to real criticism and victims), such despicable fans (yeah, some HDers fuckin mocked that they triggered my ED, yet they had the fucking NERVE to support Angel’s potential ED AND laugh and blame me for me getting treated so badly for actually having the balls to call Angel and the teams hypocrisy. I got told to kill myself, that my problems arent real - oh but Angels apparently is! Which... They *are* but AD isnt real so technically only onlookers will suffer and not a drawing  - and they just excused their toxic behaviours. These people are like “aww poor angie babey!” yet fuckin INSULT sex workers. All this red in Hazbin yet it feels everyone and they mama colour blind. The issues are getting worse and fans are outright becoming EVIL, VILE, Vindictive little bullies - from kids to adults. You SHOULD be ashamed of yourself if you conduct yourself in such a manner. And you need to readjust your attitudes and behaviours because the only fuckers getting hurt are actual fucking victims. Ever been violated and been gaslit so much you STILL fucking question it’s reality? So you drown that shit out yet somehow it’s effects still hit you? Fetishise it. Make it your uwu gae couple goals, you’re no better than people believing Harley and the Joker werent toxic af. If this shit happened to you, most of you would actually SEE where we’re all coming from. Also, stop making gay a fetish - you’re like those creepy old men in the alley heckling lesbians to make out so they can wank off. Gays, no ALL the LGBT+ are fucking people too. So dont give me that bullshit then start turning everything just gay or just straight to mentally wank off to. It’s degrading and dehumanising. And yes, fiction does effect reality. You crush on a fictional character? Mourn one? Support one? Hell, fuckin jerk off to one - that’s affecting reality. Remember how in fiction all blacks were treated as villians? Look how theyre treated IRL. JAWS, great classic unfortunately their was a spike in shark killings over a fucking movie - the shark in the movie wasnt even real for the most part because they dont behave like that! (Also the animatronic was so shit they genuinely had so many issues - I think they even took to naming each one! Some fun trivia there!). Tiger sharks are more nasty than great whites as tiger sharks will hunt and eat a human. Great whites prefer seals and dislike human flesh, they just mistake us for seals. Hell, theres the toothless basking shark - theyre often SWAM WITH by divers for being so friendly. Yet Jaws made people think all sharks are bloodlusting over humans. Slenderman was created for a fucking contest and that influenced a stabbing (NOT Victor’s fault). Watch a horror movie that isnt based on a real life event and tell me that at least ONE has left you peaking over your shoulder. Stella may be a bitch - we dont know for certain - but try getting cheated on. Y’know what? Try growing up in such a broken home like Octavia. Yeah reaaaaaal fucking cute now, huh? Funny how as well y’all petition for male victims to be taken seriously then laugh when fictional males experience this abuse, further adding to stigma. You can be hit on by the hottest mf on the planet but if you arent interested, that should be respected! Also we’ve all been inspired by at least one fictional character so yeah. Yknow, since I was little Ive been fighting for sex worker and homeless rights. But HH/HB treatment of both leave a bitter taste in my mouth. I’ll still fully support sex workers and the homeless, but that’s the fucking effect this show is having. Bearing in mind I wont ever share everything Ive been through - and I shouldnt fucking have to in order to be believed and validated (obvs proof is required in a legal case but that’s a whole other topic). Why should I share MY fucking pain especially when you fuckers have belittled and triggered it more so? We have our rights to our secrets but fuck ME you lot NEED to start acting appropriately and like decent fucking humans. ‘iTs HeLl’ yeah and welcome to Earth- the team and yourselves live HERE. You obide by THESE rules. And as someone with beliefs (and a LOT of ancient fucking texts and studies on this shit) their Hell isnt even a proper Hell! It’s closer to purgatory and even then it’s not. Regardless, it’s a poorly built world with the lore consistently changing per episode and tweet, with many plot holes, and is apparently easy to get into - even via accidentally watching porn according to a stream. If youre gonna parade youre a fucking expert and research into demonology and use real believed figures, at least get THAT right. In fact, Lucifer and Lilith (and Stolas tbf) are ESPECIALLY risky as theyre a lot more complex than most easy access texts will tell you. Likewise, Stolas’s first introduction and main focus is sex. He’s one of the FEW Goetia demons that dont have some involvement in relationship issues at ALL. He’s known for astrology, crystals and herbs but hes also known to aid MONEY troubles (it’s lesser known but it’s true! HB Stolas is an insult to the Prince). Turning Vodou into something evil is vile considering it’s powerful and liberated slaves. Pentagrams are nothing to do with Satan, they’re magic based sigils. Upside down cross is the symbol of a SAINT. It’s just some edgy attempt to trick people into believing they know more than they do. Also you should NEVER dabble and doodle sigils without knowing the meanings or respecting what they behold. Vox and Val, real fuckin cute way to make them look like a stupid fucking highschool drama instead of a fucking SEX TRAFFICKER (note: real pimps often target YOUNG folks too - aka minors - and groom them into sex work. Theres different types of pimp. Viv has shown barely any understanding of ‘the game’ and its a fucking insult to injury. Yes we KNOW what a fucking pimp and prozzie are! We dont need to see it. We need REAL AWARENESS.) and a fucking scheming bastard of a CEO salesman botman. And yet even THEN lets go a step further and make some yandere wuv on boyfweind aboose! Fuck off- Now I love a good anime but these tropes are getting fucking dangerous now. And unrealistic to real love and relationships. Kids nowadays know fuck all on a healthy relationship (neither did the fuckin 50s tbf) and Im seeing more romaticism and glorifying abusive situations. Like the show ‘You’. Ok, there’s a fuckin bloke online who slaughtered innocents and kidnapped yet people commented how cute he is on his IG and that they want to be kidnapped or killed by him next. Dont believe me? Look up Peter Manfredonia Connecticut and the comments people left him and then tell me why shit like whats being presented in HH/HB ISNT fucking concerning - because it is. For a series about redemption, it’s brilliant at the opposite (Quote from the creator herself, Viv has posted that it’s influencing her bad choices. Even as a joke, proof’s in the pudding). And the overall focus on sex in the way Viv does is so immature and really creepy, and this is from an ADULTS perspective. From one adult to another, Im concerned as to why any of them think this is a normal fixation. Then again they’ve hired quite a large amount of dodgy folks and even a child. Most of this shit gets avoided with a basic background check like most companies run. I DO like Hazbin. Or the premise. I love some of the cast and spite the others. In Helluva, I just like a tiny portion of the cast. And I critique it so harshly because Viv DOES need a wakeup slap, grounding to reality, people who arent going to big her up or kiss her arse for once and shape her up to be the best she can be. The actually reach and even surpass her potential. And to reach where you need to be, there’s a lot of harsh lessons youll face. That’s life. Shes chosen one of the most HEARTLESS industries and if she blocks out critique as ‘hate’ then she’s not strong enough and wont last. It’s just another unprepped YanDev again (except I dont believe Viv to be a nonce. Even with her dodgy past and dodgy present, I think her perspective on sex and relationship with sexuality is FAR from healthy BUT I dont believe she’s a pedophile. Ive bled my fair share and so far, I just think her sex perspective isnt healthy or mature for her age. But there’s little to nothing to suggest actual noncery - dont worry about accusations there. But YanDev is totally a dirty predator. Just clearing that up). Viv NEEDS some harshness and stability if she wants to do things right. And it’ll make her fucking cry but if she loves these projects as much as she claims to, then you’ll sacrifice blood, sweat and tears for that shit. Even the strongest points are mediocre at best when properly observed. She CAN do more, but she’ll have to face the harsh music. Viv wont see this, but if she does, I dont care if it upsets her. Why? Because this is that much of an issue - something she’s cultivated - that she needs to take action and not ignore it or be secretive about it. She needs to grow up and get tougher skin. Im not saying this to cause her pain. In fact, I wouldnt waste my fucking limited time if I DIDNT care. Trust me, I have duties to be met at a certain quota every single day. I say this shit only because I give a shit and care. If we met, she’d fucking hate me. But people like me are good for shaping people up to their potential. And we arent always this ‘tough love’ either. But when someone needs that level of harshness to help themselves, we’re not afraid to lose people or cause upset if the results end up being the best for them. If she ever saw this, she needs to re fucking evaluate her message, her story, and those she’s choosing to welcome into her circle. And all Im seeing is one rookie mistake after the other. Her paid patreon discord. Just like the messages Honest has posted on her side of being harassed (not in Vivs fyi), Ive experienced shit and bullying and even stay silent on their for being attacked for a group I fuckin paid to be in and yet I feel isolated. It’s all arsekissing and ‘thank you viv’ (thats an actual channel-) and it feels like a place of borderline worship and people trying to appease her 24/7 whilst kicking others with different opinions down. There’s so many I love but I aint kissin yer fuckin arse. Ask the closest friend I have - we’re fucking raw and wont just side with each other just because. We’ll call each other out if we think they’ve fucked up and then help each other build themselves up better. Because real fuckin people who actually care wont just want to be adored by you. They’ll care enough to point out your bullshit and help you, even if they upset you at the time. They’re real and upfront with you. People like us arent always the easiest to be close to either because we arent afraid of upsetting someone if it’s in their best interest and to help them. Likewise, we dont go out looking for fights either. Most times, we’re fuckin soft bastards- All this shit listed is the fuckin surface level of the real life hell of this fandom. And unsurprisingly, those who experience little to no toxicity have always been higher on that popularity ‘food chain’ - enough admirers and shared opinions that people wanna arse kiss regardless of their OWN feelings as well as neutral perspectives. I’d say you’re the lucky fans, but you’re not. You’re sheltered, and that isnt always the best way to be sadly. As for the fans. If Ive upset you. Well... I dont care. Because many of you have actively sought me out and weaponised my traumas against me. You never cared about my feelings then. Why should I care about yours? Im not doing this out of malice. Im fed up of humans behaving so pathetically yet claiming to be high and mighty. Most of you have been arseholes to those in and out of the community. The victims and non-victims alike. Hardly any of you considered once my real suffering. You put a drawing over a life. Many lives. You had the audacity to tell me Im full of shit. Some even using my real traumas to make a mockery of me and those Im around with a very similar history. Some with traumatic histories that differ from my own. You hardly ever considered the real lives of those effected. So no, Im not sorry for having the fucking balls to this day to still stand up for our rights and give us a voice that’s long been stolen. Im not sorry for being a fucking victim. Im not sorry for saying what desperately NEEDS voicing. And Im not sorry for not conforming to you or any fandom just to belong. We deserve better than to constantly be your fuckin arse monkeys (well... the trope is butt monkey but yknow-) and to be mistreated, misrepresented and harmed by you. You’re no different to the school bullies who give speeches on anti-bullying day. And I hope every single one of you starts looking into yourselves and improving. PS: Depending on the texts you read, Lucifer is said to have been redeemed or to be redeemed. Fun fact to haunt yalls with~ “

[onlyxmcbride]

This was not wrote by me but I had to share it 💔

Credits to addieanatomy on instagram.

its so difficult for me to understand those who never feel the slightest bit of sympathy for norma and those who blame norma for being a bad mother, for nurturing her child into a serial killer. since the beginning on the series, norma had been a whole person. she has a backstory filled with emotional abuse and neglect at the hands of her awful parents. and emotional and sexual assault at the hands of her brother. and then she gets married to an abusive husband with a son born of incest because of her brother raping her. and another son who blacks out and becomes violent to the point of murder. norman blacked out and murdered her abusive husband/his father and had no idea. and he continues to kill several ppl that come into his life. but that’s just a whole other discussion for a later date. it makes my blood boil when i see ppl want to hate norma and blame her for all norman does. they want to. hate norma for what norman is. in some ways. yes. i can see why we all should give her some blame. because of numerous events in her life, norma’s incredibly broken which doesnt make motherhood too promising for her. i mean. i would argue that the worst thing norma has done has been having a lack of understanding the causes and effects of her actions. and just having a lack of insight in general.

norma feels that nothing outside of her and her care is safe for her and her beloved child. but eventually, she starts to see norman as a threat, to herself and himself. okay and quite honestly. im surprised norma didn’t end up being the damn serial killer given her fucking upbringing and the experiences she faced… anyway. alright norma definitely allowed for levels of intimacy between her and norman that are pretty uncomfortable. and some ppl would say shes reluctant to admit that there is something wrong with her beautiful child. but in my opinion. i believe she was always fully aware of normans troubles and knew that theres was smth wrong with him. but like i said before. she didnt see safety in anything outside herself. bc shes so fucking stubborn! but she truly believed that she was the answer to normans problem and she thought she could help him and protect him. i think it is very harsh for ppl to classify norma and anything she does as a mother as being neglectful. or abusive.,..,. she certainly comes close but. she doesnt cross the line into that territory. and yes. she did tell norman things he shouldnt have to know as her son. like. the situation with her brother. but. if u think about normas role as a mother overall. within the context of her own life experiences. she tries really fucking. hard. to be a the perfect and ideal mother. and i believe her efforts should be applauded considering she had no good mother or father to have as an example for her parenting. this woman did whatever she could to protect her son. and when she realized that she couldnt give him the help he needed,... she sought out help. she went to pineview. she begged dr edwards or whatever to help her son. she did her best to get her son the aid he needed in order to not be a threat to himself, norma and everyone else.

i would find it absolutely ridiculous if u didnt feel an iota a sympathy for norma in that moment in 401. she even explained herself in that moment with dr edwards. she realized that she couldnt control what she thought she could. and that she was afraid of going to the doctors bc she thought they could take him away from her. and i believe that she didnt want him taken away bc he was the last bit of love she had left in her life. she had no one. she loved norman so passionately bc they were all each other ever had. its just. in that fucking moment with dr edwards. norma was showing so much of herself. so much honesty. which is smth she tends not to do. and she was revealing in that moment that literally. like all parents. she didnt really know… exactly what she was doing. she was just hoping that what she thought was best,.,. was good. and she had a moment of great fear that what she was doing was hurting her child. and she wanted to do smth else to change and make it better for both of them. all norma has ever had is good intentions. love makes u do crazy things. and she did crazy things out of the sometimes dangerous love she had for her child. but she cant take full blame for what norman is and became. being the parent of a psychopath is not gonna be fucking easy and a literal cake walk with a manual on how to succeed. all norma fucking wanted was a normal life for her and her son. and normal life that she never got to have throughout her childhood. and teenage years. and into her married life with both of her husbands.

she could never catch a fucking break. and she never did. she never. fucking. did. shitty childhood, 2 shitty marriages, a kid who resulted from being raped by her brother, a kid that was more than just mentally unstable. and her own mental wellbeing never treated was just. the fucking cherry on top. and even after she dies she didn’t even get peace until after norman died, considering he was lugging her dead body around. when ppl talk about norma, her mental health is not often in the conversation. but quite honestly. norma's entire mental state had to have been absolutely exhausting for her. she needed serious help. and she needed it well before norman even came into the her life. i think the only time she realized that… this isnt how normal people live. is when she was with alex... alex gave her a real glimpse into a type of normalcy she had never experienced. honestly. i would like to believe she eventually would have gone into therapy had she survived. and even if norman had stayed at the live-in hospital and didnt try to kill her, she and alex were not going to magically start living a beautiful, good life. she was going to need some serious therapy herself. and i just know she wouldnt bring herself to do that all by herself. i think if anyone could help her decide to help herself... that person would without and doubt be alex. norma truly was beaten down by life at every corner. anyone in her shoes with that kind of history and mental wellbeing would be in an unbelievable amount of pain on the inside. when thinking about how this all plays into her relationship with norman... i just think she loved norman to the best of her ability. but it was from a perspective warped by extreme mental illness, fatigue and injury of her own. to add to this exhausting amount of mental turmoil, came her exhausting love for norman. god i love this woman so much. she is everything to me.

This hit me so damn hard. People ask why I love this show so much and the reason is above. Vera Farmiga portrays Norma so brilliantly and I couldn't think of anyone else who could do it better.

Romanticizing the relationship she and Norman had is unhealthy yes, but she loved her son so much she would do anything to keep him safe. Norma Bates is a fucking warrior- fictional character or not.